My man has gone off sex

2:32pm Monday 12th May 2008

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Dear Dave - I've been married to my husband for 6 years. At first our sex life was great, we couldn't keep our hands off each other, but lately, over the past few months or so he seems to have gone right off it.

He'll make excuses like being tired or stressed (he drives a lorry all day so i can't see how that makes him stressed), and yet I'll make an effort like buying new underwear and stuff like that but even then he'll say ooh you look nice and fall asleep.

I'm convinced he's not having an affair because I've gone through his phone and have found nothing and he's always home in the evenings and weekends.

I just think he's gone off me. What can I do?

Many thanks, Elaine, Ringland Hi Elaine, Firstly, that's rather naughty of you isn't it going through your husband's phone???!

That's his personal property, but I can understand your anxiety over this. Funnily enough we were talking about this issue on Tuesday's Real Late Night Phone In last week as there was a story that around 40% of blokes have completely lost interest in sex.

It went on to say, they just cannot seem to be bothered, that its too much hassle and that they're too tired! 40%, that's a large number. Perhaps your hubby is one of these.

Firstly don't put any pressure on him as that's the worse thing you could do but just have a quiet chat with him, to find out what seems to be the problem. But do this when your both relaxed and comfortable.

Maybe ask him if he fancies a weekend away, but what I will say is that communication is one of the key fundamentals in any relationship.

If things don't pick up or he remains non-responsive then you may wish to consider a visit to relate as a way of finding out what's really wrong.

I hope things do work out for you Elaine and good luck.