SPIDERIFFIC WAS TERRIFIC!: On the evening of Friday May 12, Gil and I joined a capacity audience for one of the funniest productions I have ever seen. Amazingly this production was by an amateur  company, our local Cwmbran Woodland Players and was written by Lyndon House, who also had a starring role not only in this comedy but in the recent “Gasping” written by Ben Elton which was performed recently in Torfaen.
Lyndon has peppered this black comedy with apt parodies of well known and well loved songs.

I am pleased to inform readers that Lyndon has received national recognition for his work as it was awarded a NODA award for best drama in 2015. It has been published since and is now available for other groups to perform.

I will not divulge any surprise events or the dramatic ending to the play as I do not wish to spoil things for those of you who will want to see it in future but here is a brief synopsis: The play is set in Greenbriar Retirement Home which is in a frenzy preparing for a visit from the Queen. The residents and staff are a mix of The Doddery, The Dithery, The Dotty, The Argumentative, The Ambitious and the Amorous!

Events get even more worrying when there are quarrels over who will present a bouquet to the Queen and with the news that Dora has discovered that her pet tarantula spider, Norman, has escaped from his tank and disappeared.

To make matters worse the Manageress of the home falls for the visiting Queen’s Equerry and an incompetent Special Branch Detective announces that it has been discovered that there will be an attempt to assassinate Her Majesty, by an international assassin called The Black Tarquin (or The Black Sequin as some of the residents mistakenly hear.)

As you can guess the story unfolds with farcical frenzy, interspersed with dance routines by visiting schoolgirls (of the St Trinians’ temperament) and the aforementioned humorous parodies of famous songs eg. “Nobody Loves You When You Are A Spider”. Did all end happily? I’m not going to say! See for yourself if you get the opportunity. 

What a fabulous fun filled Friday this was, thanks to all at Cwmbran Woodlands Players! The only notable differences in production I could see between this performance and the former Whitehall farces of beloved memory were that the laughter came from Cwmbran and not London and that the stars, and all the cast who were superbly skilled in timing and characterisation, were unpaid!

Congratulations to: Director Cathrine Clark, Musical Director Andrea Miskelly,  Choreographer Sarah Morse,  Lighting and Sound -Your Way Events Management (Neal & Matt), Stage Assistant Stephanie Beale, Costume /Props - Members of CWP and to all Congress Theatre Volunteers who helped everything run smoothly front of house. 

The hugely talented cast members were: Susan Dewar, Andrea Miskelly, Sylvia Jenkins, Wendy Adams, Lyndon House, Beth Winters, Simon Shelford, Sarah Morse, Maureen Hughes, Margaret Hayward, Richard King, Frances Griffiths, Christopher Beckett, Stuart Wilson. Choir girls: Laura Joliffe, Rebecca Joliffe, Phoebe Allen and Michelle Walker.

The programme also notes the following thanks: “With grateful thanks and heartfelt apologies to Messrs. Rodgers, Hammerstein, Mancini, Lerner, Lowe, Porter, Coleman, Fields and Puccini. We hope you can find it your hearts to forgive us. Also thanks to Playwrites Publishing Company.”

A word of advice from me: Lyndon please produce another comedy of this stature as soon as possible. Torfaen Theatre Goers need you!

BIG EVENT RAFT RACE: Entries are open for teams of four to compete in this annual competition at the Big Event, which this year will be held on Saturday June 10. For further details or to book contact Liz Crowley on 01633 648306. The Big Event will feature sporting competitions, children’s activities, live music and dance and many stalls.

PONTYPOOL PARTY IN THE PARK: Bookings are now open for stalls for this year’s event which will be held in Pontypool park on Saturday July 8. Amongst the attractions planned are; music and dance acts, sporting activities, arts and crafts, and a funfair. Usually around 10,000 people attend, many of them children and young people. To book a space for a stall call 01633 648306.

THANK YOU: Finally, on a personal level, I would like to thank  everyone who has sent good wishes to me on my retirement as a Councillor on Torfaen County Borough Council. I have spent over a quarter of a century in total as a Councillor for Upper Cwmbran; first on Cwmbran Community Council, and with the advent of the Unitary Authorities in Wales. as a member of Torfaen County Borough Council. I decided a little while ago it was time to hand over the political baton to a younger generation. Best wishes for a successful future to all Councillors and Staff who now serve on Torfaen County Borough Council and on our Community Councils. It has been a privilege to serve the people of our valley and an honour to have been elected to represent the residents of Upper Cwmbran Ward.