The Icelandic Sagas (From South Wales Argus)

The Icelandic Sagas

9:25am Friday 10th October 2008

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All about Iceland (And why we won't get our savings back from them).

Icelandic women don't take the husband's name when they marry, chiefly because the husband doesn't have a family name to take, and because they don't have surnames, Icelanders are listed in the telephone directory alphabetically by first name. There is no directory enquiries, it would be a complete waste of time.. everyone is named Thor...

Because they don't have surnames, it is not appropriate to call an Icelander by Mr. or Ms.

Almost all Icelanders use the first name with everyone, including the president of Iceland, appropriately called Thor... currently in the Seychelles drumming up a bit of business by flogging off some surplus glaciers... and you thought it was global warming ?

The English word geyser comes from Icelandic (perhaps the only Icelandic word imported into English).

Geysir is the name of a famous geyser in Iceland, it's a Geyis Geyser, got it ? (Or it may be a Geyser called Gesir).

Icelanders speak the Icelandic language, which is used only in Iceland and among Icelandic expatriates chiefly in Scandinavia and North America, (what point is there speaking it anywhere else ?). Icelandics don't migrate to Britain, about the only thing in their favour really.... they're frightened of the dark.

Icelandic is very similar to old Norwegian (Of course you knew that), of about 1,000 years ago, they have 2,000 words for snow, and frost, and there are no other topics in Iceland.. "Snow today Thor ?", "Snow tomorrow.." "What's the weekend weather forecast.... ?" There are about 270,000 Icelanders in the country.

About half of them live in the capital Reykjavik and its suburbs, the other half don't, no-one knows where they are.... except they can't spell Reykjavik.

Iceland is the world's oldest democracy. Its parliament (Althingi) was founded about 1,000 years ago, by Thor as a matter of fact.

Iceland has vast amounts of water because it rains so much, which is a fact that boggles the mind somewhat, rain causes all this water?

Icelandic water is so clean and pure that it is piped into the city and to the kitchen taps in the home without any treatment (no chlorination needed). Because of its bountiful water supply and many rivers, Iceland has vast reserves of hydroelectric power, mainly because they forgot to put up power lines..... So they make do with whale blubber candles.

Iceland has no army, navy, or air force, their country isn't worth invading basically.... It does have a Coast Guard, and most of Welsh council savings.

Just in case you missed it, an Iceland stab at telling a joke, guaranteed in Iceland anyway to have them in fits of hysterical laughter, between snow storms.

Child 1: In a race across the Channel between an English cat and a French cat, who wins?

Child 2: I don't know....

Child 1: the English cat!

Child 2: ..why?

Child 1: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq...

If you feel you can top that....

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