TOO often, discussions about young people, sex and relationships are dominated by adults panicking about the internet, ‘sexting’ and sexualisation.

I think it’s important for those of us who are already grown up to take a step back and listen to what young people themselves tell us are the challenges they face and what support they need.

Professor Emma Renold from Cardiff University is doing fantastic work on this, going into schools and talking to young people about their experiences. Her report for the NSPCC, Children Speak Out, highlighted how gender stereotypes and sexism impact on the experiences of even very young children.

She spoke to 10 to 12 year olds in Wales and heard about the pressure they feel to conform to gender stereotypes and how that shapes their friendships and limits what they feel they can do.

She also found that experiences of sexual harassment are not uncommon and that children didn’t know how to stop it or where to turn for help. Staff themselves sometimes say harmful things, one 10 year old girl reported, “the (playground monitors) go, ‘the more the boys hit you and chase you the more they love you”. If children and young people receive messages like this from those who are looking after them, then it’s not surprising they don’t feel they have anyone they can ask for support.

The message I’ve heard loud and clear from young people is that the culture of schools themselves need to change. Sexism, racism, homophobic bullying, bulling of those with disabilities and all sorts of discrimination are too common in schools and often go unchallenged. We need to transform schools so that values like tolerance, equality, respect and an understanding of healthy relationships are embedded in everything children do.

It’s clear that education is the key. Victims of abusive relationships aren’t always able to recognise that they are being abused until it escalates. Learning about healthy relationships from an early age could prevent this.

I was pleased to vote in favour of the Violence Against Women, Domestic Abuse and Sexual Violence Bill in the Assembly last week. I hope it will make a big difference to all victims of abuse and violence in Wales.

But it will also introduce new educational provisions that will ensure that all children receive comprehensive healthy relationships education and will introduce champions into schools to lead change.

All children and young people should be able to feel safe and respected in school. We need to listen to them.