THERE’S a sombre mood in the O2 Arena, just 48 hours after Corrie legend Anne Kirkbride’s death.

We’re promised a fitting tribute on “television’s biggest night of the year”.

Aaaa...nd cue former fellow cast member Natalie Gumede to present Best Soap Performance…

Oh, but wait.

She appears to be completely misreading the tone, on a night anyone ever associated with Weatherfield is wearing an invisible black armband, and boogying her way to the mic, to Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk.

“As someone who has worked in serial drama,” she blurted, “I’m particularly thrilled to be presenting this award.”

How lovely for you. Not a sausage about Deirdre Barlow.

So it was just as well on-screen hubby Bill Roache and Adam “Ian Beale” Woodyatt found exactly the right words for Kirkbride’s send-off at the 20th National TV Awards.

An evening of baffling outcomes where the closest anyone came to risky was granting Danny Dyer a post-watershed speech (swear-free) and sending Sandra from Gogglebox to collect the Factual trophy.

There she stood at the foot of the steps and peered up at what must have looked like the North Face of the Eiger: “Where do I go? Where do I go?”

Dermot O’Leary, running down from the podium, came to the rescue. No one, however, was there to save him as the night became drearier and more bland by the hour.

He made a better fist of it than 12 months ago when he tripped over his script at every turn.

But the very real danger of grabbing some random from the audience to present an award, or just chat to, had been dismissed this year.

Instead, Dermot had a “world exclusive” Lucy Beale murder clue, big news in Turkmenistan and Djibouti.

It all began with Mrs Brown vanishing down a trapdoor, only for that good work to be undone when she reappeared for a terrible skit with Graham Norton, and Sheridan Smith getting stuck in traffic and missing her Drama Performance award.

When she did arrive to collect it, Dermot admitted: “We get there in the end, just not in order.”

So many results, in fact, were in the wrong order. That’s what happens when you let the public decide.

They reward out-to-pasture, former glories on the slide, like Downton Abbey, and rob The Apprentice.

One of the worst ever I’m A Celebrity series beat two of the greatest Celebrity Big Brothers (Lee Ryan and Gary Busey).

Celebrity Juice was deemed better than Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead and “Georgie Shore” as Kris Jenner announced.

Special Recognition winner David Tennant received a far grander tribute than Anne Kirkbride, of gushing proportions – mostly from his dad.

Lenny Henry raised the terrifying prospect of a “24-hour Dermot dance marathon”.

Dame Cheryl was actually shortlisted for TV Judge.

And a vaguely familiar bloke sang (Ben Haenow) during ITV’s compulsory Simon Cowell machine promotion which rounded off the night with the craziest result, X Factor nobbling Strictly.

Remember, though, 2014’s ceremony plugged the I Can’t Sing musical disaster which disappeared without trace weeks later.

My hopes this year? Come in, Dame Cheryl.

Your time’s up.

Spudulikes

BBC2’s must-see Surviving the Holocaust: Freddie Knoller’s War.

The One Show’s Alex Jones to Robson Green about his new fishing show: “Is it more extreme, more dangerous? Is it why it’s called The Ultimate Quest?” Green: “No.” And why not, Robson? “It’s called The Ultimate Catch, on Quest.”

Spuduhates

Tracy Barlow, edging to the end of Corrie’s crashed minibus teetering over a cliff, failing to impersonate Michael Caine: “Hang on a minute, lads. I’ve got a great idea.”

Katie Price repaying Celeb Big Brother’s £500,000 to cause a stir by telling alleged nemesis Katie Hopkins: “I love your humour, you’re right up my street. I’d definitely be your friend out of the house.” (Savage.)

Broadchurch becoming a laughable, 16-hour episode of Law & Order.

ITV eliminating any desperately needed jeopardy by pre-recording pro-celebrity variety cobblers Get Your Act Together.

And Rita Ora and Will.i.am defeating the point of The Voice’s blind auditions by asking the audience if Jake Shakeshaft was playing guitar.