BRACE yourself. It’s time for the biggie of the night, from the O2 Arena on Wednesday.

Two heavyweight titans slugging it out for the title, like Ali and Frazier.

And the results are in.

“The National Television Award goes to… The Chase.” BBC1’s Pointless left crumpled in a heap, in the fight for the Daytime crown.

It’s big in my world, anyway. But then so is the shocking state of telly, judging by the shortlists on “the biggest and most glamorous night in the TV calendar”.

Casualty was nominated for drama – Casualty! – but lost out to Downton Abbey’s farewell sympathy vote.

The wrong Bear Grylls series (Mission Survive) was up for challenge show when it should have been The Island, 2015’s best programme.

Car Share deservedly won comedy, but then it would being up against Benidorm, Birds of a Feather and Not Going Out.

The TV judge category was quietly shelved by ITV, presumably to spare Simon Cowell’s ego another David Walliams battering.

Gogglebox won “factual entertainment”, and not scripted reality.

And Poldark’s Aidan Turner scooped Best Topless Scything, or something along those lines that weren't fully explained by Dermot O’Leary, who had a ropey evening from the moment he began: “Tonight for the very first tame, the names at the aimed of this sentence…”

The NTAs are, after all, a popularity contest only. Yet they seemed to get it more accurate this year than Bafta.

I can’t begrudge victories for I’m A Celebrity, Strictly, Bake Off (a show I don’t get) and Ant & Dec, collecting the Ant & Dec award for the 15th year running.

Billy Connolly’s special recognition speech, with a comedy lesson to Peter Kay (“limelight grabber”), was wonderful. The body may be failing but the mind very much isn’t.

It narrowly edged best acceptance ahead of Doctor Foster actor Bertie Carvel’s honest appraisal of the show’s success from a massive lead-in audience: “Thank you to the Great British Bake Off.”

And Danny Dyer’s: “I’m honoured to be part of such a sublime, depressing programme as EastEnders,” before thanking his parents for “having a roll-about in 1977 and conceiving me”.

Also enjoyable was Matisse the BGT dog getting bored waiting for Greg James to announce the comedy winner and trotting off back to Jules in the wings, Chris Eubank walking backwards off stage and Holly Willoughby playing musical chairs all evening with Keith Lemon and Phillip Schofield.

What the 21st NTAs were not about, though, was a time for honouring TV legends we’ve lost in the last 12 months.

So there wasn’t so much as a break of wind for George Cole, Peter O’Sullevan or Jimmy Hill – pioneers who deserved poignant reflection.

No, instead, every winner on ITV’s roster spoke in similar glowing terms of outgoing boss Peter Fincham, as if his legacy wasn’t turning the network into one big, celebrity travelogue-obsessed waste ground.

But let’s end on a brighter note, with victorious “newcomer” Shayne Ward wondering: “Who would have thought a singer from X Factor could now be on one of the most amazing shows like Coronation Street?”

Popstars’ Kym Marsh, maybe? Or Popstars: The Rivals’ Sarah Harding?

No, on second thoughts, don’t ask her, Shayne. Bit of a sensitive subject.

Spudulikes…

*C4’s Deutschland 83 and The Jihadis Next Door.

*BBC comedy drama The Rack Pack, with a Bill Werbeniuk lookalike getting his first work in years.

*BBC2’s surprisingly watchable Phone Shop Idol, with sob stories, brutal judges and even a “There’s no easy way of saying this… you’ve made it through to the next round” misdirection. (Saturday nights from autumn 2017, ITV?) The One Show’s Matt Baker: “Let’s turn our attention to a creature that’s right at the very bottom of the food chain.” Alex Jones: “Here’s Mike Dilger.”

*And Jemima Packington, “the woman who can predict the future with asparagus”, foreseeing This Morning’s NTA triumph. Schofe: “Does it work with celery?” Jemima: “No.” No, Phillip. Don’t be ridiculous.

Spuduhates…

*This Morning devoting a whole section to how to clean your fridge, chopping board and mugs.

*The Voice indulging Boy George’s crystals and “energy” baloney.

*10,000BC: Two Tribes, “the toughest social experiment modern-day humans can face”, giving the “completely cut off from the outside world” Stone Agers meat, fish, fruit, nuts, water, maps, hunting and fishing gear, fire-making tools, food hygiene experts and 24/7 medics.

*The Rack Pack making out Dennis Taylor played snooker in his famous glasses in 1980 — three years before he did.

*And, after I called EastEnders’ Kat and Alfie series a “spin-off”, Shane Richie on This Morning: “People are trying to call it a spin-off. It’s not a spin-off. It’s six standalone dramas.” I stand corrected. It’s a six standalone dramas spin-off.