A GWENT woman pregnant with a baby for a childless couple will later this month take the number of surrogate births in the UK in the past 30 years to around 1,000. ANDY RUTHERFORD looks at the often overlooked positive aspects of a still controversial subject, and the rules that govern it.

HAVING had two children of her own by the age of 25, Sarah Smzaglik’s thoughts turned to helping others who cannot have children themselves achieve the joy of parenthood.

Along the path to surrogacy she has followed in the footsteps of scores of other women who have carried children for others in the 30 years since the UK’s first surrogate mum Kim Cotton blazed a selfless trail into unintended controversy.

Surrogacy is a controversial issue that even 30 years on from Kim Cotton’s first surrogate birth has the ability to raise the moral hackles of dissenters, and it usually hits the headlines when something goes amiss.

The most recent occasion involved baby Gammy, born with Down’s Syndrome to a surrogate mum in Thailand, and last summer the central figure in an unsavoury row involving claims that the intended parents, from Australia, had wanted her to undergo an abortion when they discovered his condition.

Clearly, there were serious issues raised by this situation that are worthy of debate and the issue of tighter regulation for surrogacy, internationally as well as nationally, got a much-needed airing.

What is often overlooked however, is the unbounded joy that surrogacy can bring.

A raft of regulations govern the subject in the UK, though some believe there is a case for tighter rules. But underpinning any legal safeguards are two fundamental human elements vital to a successful surrogacy - trust and friendship.

Ms Smzaglik, aged 29, from Chepstow, joined Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS), one of the founders of which, in 1988, was Kim Cotton.

COTS, now one of several surrogacy organisations in the UK, provides support and advice to surrogates and intended parents, and through its Triangle group enables surrogates to meet intended parents.

Choosing which intended parents she wishes to meet is a matter for the surrogate, having read their details.

Ms Smzaglik had enjoyed being pregnant with her first child and, having heard about KimCotton from her mother, resolved to keep the possibility of being a surrogate open until after she had completed her own family.

“I didn’t realise either how many women suffer by not being able to have children and I would like to think that someone would do it for me,” she said.

“At first there are no expectations and you try to build a bond, a friendship (with the intended parents),” she said.

The intended parents for the baby she is carrying, who do not wish to be named, come from the Midlands.

“Sarah asked to contact us,” said the woman. “It is important to trust each other and to be friends, and we have spent a lot of time getting to know each other and deciding to go ahead.”

Ms Smzaglik, whose story first appeared in the Argus last week, wanted to tell of her experience, in order to raise awareness of an issue she believes is to be much misunderstood.

“I think it is important to try to raise awareness for women who might want to consider becoming a surrogate, and for people who wish to become parents but who cannot by themselves,” she said.

The development of in vitro fertilisation (IVF) made surrogacy possible, and there are two methods – host surrogacy, where the embryo is created using the intended parents’ sperm and egg, and ‘straight’ surrogacy, where the intended father’s sperm and the surrogate’s donated egg are used.

Nicole Evans, from Coventry, is a two-time surrogate, and has used both methods to help two sets of intended parents.

The first was a host surrogacy, for a couple from Surrey. The intended mother Emily Thackray, who has since died, lived with lung disease cystic fibrosis and had undergone a double lung transplant.

The successful surrogacy allowed her to enjoy a precious though all too brief motherhood.

“I had finished my own family. But I was 26 and evidently quite fertile, and thought I could do this,” said Mrs Smith.

“I thought about egg donation but didn’t like the idea of the anonymity, whereas surrogacy is built on the idea of friendship first.”

She got involved with Surrogacy UK, a not-for-profit organisation run by surrogates and intended parents, for which she is now a trustee and events organiser.

“In the beginning my husband was unsure, but as soon as he read the information pack he thought it was an amazing thing to do.

“When you join and you find there are 50 couples all equally deserving of a child, you wonder how you are going to choose. I wanted to help a couple who had struggled with fertility.

“I met Emily at a Surrogacy UK conference, we kept in touch through Facebook, got on really well, and it went from there.

“For me it was pretty instant, but with Surrogacy UK there a minimum three months ‘getting to know’ period.

“We met Emily and her husband in April 2012 and their daughter Sophia was born in May 2013.”

Mrs Smith’s second surrogacy was a straight surrogacy, for a couple in Essex. She subsequent gave birth to a boy.

“It (straight surrogacy) was more of an issue for my husband but was never a problem for me, because though the egg was mine, it wasn’t going to be my child,” she said. “I had worked with the intended mum at Surrogacy UK and we had got close so I thought this might be a solution.”

For Nicole Smith, trust and friendship are the vital ingredients that make a successful surrogacy, and fellow Surrogacy UK member Sarah Jones agrees.

From Doncaster, the 38-year-old is a three-time surrogate, the children she has helped bring into the world for others now aged 10, nine, and two years.

She has a 20-year-old daughter and two other children of her own, aged eight and six years.

She has been a straight surrogate on each occasion, with trust and friendship at the heart of the decisions she has made.

“All three of the couples I have been a surrogate with live in London, but distance was never an issue for me,” she said.

“It was just about who I got on with best. I thought about who I would be friends with if I was not doing a surrogacy with them.

“It is always about making a strong connection.”

For Sarah Jones, regulation of surrogacy is vital too, and she believes there ought to be more of it.

“Many people do it independently and they don’t have the important checks done.

“With an organisation like Surrogacy UK, Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) checks and the like have been done at the point of entry.

“Because all these checks are done before you even meet someone, you can go into a relationship without having to worry.

“It leaves you in a very comfortable place.”

Surrogacy in the UK is legal, but it is illegal to advertise for a surrogate, or to advertise to be a surrogate.

After a surrogate child is born, the parents apply for a parental order, to become its legal parents.

Such orders are subject to the following rules:

The intended parents must be domiciled in the UK

The intended parents must be in a proven long term relationship, or be married

The surrogate must not have received anything other than expenses; these expenses are personal and will differ depending on a surrogate’s personal circumstances.

No money other than expenses should be paid to the surrogate, and it is up to both parties to agree on what they class as reasonable expenses.

For information and advice on the rules surrounding surrogacy go online at www.gov.uk/rights-for-surrogate-mothers