I FEEL I have to apologise on behalf of my little drinking group for the excessive tides that have so worried our shores over the past weekend. You see, we have always been somewhat obsessive fans of the Superbowl, the Superleague, in fact anything conceivably describable as super. So I’m afraid that is where the idea of ‘Supermoon’ was born, albeit over more than a few pints of the necessary.

I readily admit that the simultaneous baring of 17 bottoms was an act of harmless spontaneity and little did we know the dire consequences, both lunar and tidal, that it would incur.

Rest assured that such recklessness shall never occur again, at least not once in a blue moon.

Um....perhaps this might not be the best moment to explain just how we brought about the solar eclipse?

Julian R Powell, Malpas Park, Newport