MICHAEL PEARLMAN SAYS: Splash, bang wallop
9:10am Tuesday 8th January 2013 in Sport
WE knew a questionable entertainment show on the back of Team GB’s extraordinary success at the Olympics was an inevitability, but surely we could find some merit in such a format?
At least it would help to promote sport, wouldn’t it?
Cue ITV1 reality show Splash, in which the most random selection of celebrities a drunk man with a post-it note on his forehead could think of compete in a diving competition.
The celebs are trained by “medalist,” (it’s weirdly never specified that it was bronze) Tom Daley who is screamed at by the audience like he’s the fifth Beatle and the entire show hinges, for me at least, on the expectation of seeing some comical belly flops.
That’s not really going to cut it in the same timeslot as the now departed Total Wipeout where people falling into water comically was a staple of Saturday night.
The celebrities are judged by a former Olympic diver, Tom Daley’s Olympic coach and logically, Jo Brand, a comedian and diver at the age of 14.
The entire concept of Splash is hard to fathom and even the wardrobe choices are ridiculous.
Vernon Kay wears shorts and deck shoes like a porter on a Disney Cruise ship, what possible justification can there be for making us view that at tea time?
Co-host Gabby Logan – sublime in her coverage of the actual Olympics – chose to wear an expression that screamed embarrassment. We all did Gabby.
One thing is certain: You’ll have a better time out in Cardiff than staying in and watching Splash.