Bishop Richard Pain is the current Bishop of Monmouth. He talks to TOMOS POVEY about key events in his life, including his four years as bishop, the tragic loss of his daughter and when someone tried to kill him

“IN TERMS of my background I was brought up in a forces family. So we lived in many different places.

I was born in London, moved to Germany and later moved to Singapore. I had three significant years there. That was great because it was the ’60s and a lot of children don’t have that sort of chance to live in an exotic country. It made me appreciate different cultures.

We moved back to live in Northumberland and it was such a contrast from Singapore.

Because my family were in the Airforce we went to boarding school. It was a slightly different childhood to what some children have. At boarding school church was compulsory and we were all asked to attend church, but you could choose which one to go to. Those who were very canny went to Roman Catholic because it was half-an-hour long but I went to the Anglican one. I wanted to become a server and have been in the building ever since. I’ve gone from one thing in the church to the other.

When I was 13 I had my call to become a priest. I kept thinking at that age what the whole of the world was about and gradually found myself with a connection with God.

My parents weren’t religious and it was only later on in my life that I discovered my father had been confirmed.

But my parents supported me.

My mum was upset when I was 16 because she thought I was going to become a monk – she was relieved that I didn’t become one.

I later went to Bristol University and read English. I was still set on becoming a priest at this time.

Then I joined the civil service, when making that final move across to becoming a priest. I then did my second degree at St Michael’s College, Cardiff in Theology. I was asked to teach there for a while.

While in Wales I went to my local church, where I later discovered my future wife, Julie. It was the typical thing, she was the Sunday School teacher when we met and the rest is history.

Aged 28 I became a priest. After ordination, I was sent to Caldicot and lived there. Amy, our second child, was born during this time.

Then I had my own patch in Six Bells, which was quite a change.

But what I discovered about the valleys, during my time there, is that they’re lovely people. I was also based in Risca and afterwards vicar of Monmouth then archdeacon of Monmouth.

But it was our time in Risca which was notable. Probably the most notable thing to happen there is when someone tried to kill me.

That’s the other side to being a priest – on the one half it’s parish work and on the other it’s being a public figure.

There was a young man who had been in prison and was quite mixed up. Unfortunately he had in his mind that he had to kill the local vicar. When he was on our way to our house he attacked an old lady.

It was about 1am and I was in bed.

My wife was still up and he got in and came upstairs to get me. I kept on talking to him when she phoned the police. He then stabbed two policemen on our doorstep.

The incident shook me and the family. At the same time as this a priest had been murdered somewhere in England. He later went to prison.

I think a good Christian always has to have reasonable doubt about things. I work on the basis that faith is not blind and has to be reasonable.

Throughout life, we are all going to be challenged. I’ve got to be honest that a lot of people have a wrong understanding of God. Some have a Sunday School understanding of him and do not relate him to working and adult life.

But God is alongside us and in life it’s important to know that.

Nine years ago our daughter died at 22, which was obviously heartbreaking. But it was God being beside me and his presence in quietness of peace that helped us. She died from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs bought over the internet.

These are major events which shape people’s lives. Fortunately most parents don’t lose a child.

But what I want, as bishop, is for the church to step up and provide guidance and help to those who have lost loved ones.

I am very grateful that we have very good relationships with funeral directors. Next year it is my intention to hold talks with key funeral directors and see how well we can plan things and help more people.

In 2013 I was elected Bishop of Monmouth. I feel I am in the right place at the right time for a church which is facing difficulties. I still believe there’s a spiritual hunger out there. The church needs to change direction and recently I launched nurture groups for people to talk about life.

Church numbers are falling which is a cause for concern for the church institution but not Christianity.

We need to realign ourselves to the Christian way. We need to find a more positive direction.

The Monmouth diocese is made up of rural Monmouthshire, urban areas including Newport and the valleys. It’s the rural areas which have remained strong.

Regrettably some churches will close because of a fall in numbers.

But the diocese has big plans with vision. I’m forming a third archdeacon for the valleys because I have a concern for that area. There are social concerns there and we can help.

We are also trying to explore the possibility of losing a couple of churches and re-investing and making community centres.

These modern centres would be fit for purpose and would serve church-goers and the community.

Ultimately, the church is about the community, not the building. I have to think of the future. My strategy is how to make this diocese fit for purpose.

For too long the church has had a reputation of taking handouts and I want to reverse that and invest with others. If we have good ideas we should get together and get things going with businesses and charities.

These are big plans and I’m excited by them.”