Have you been put off buying fresh flowers in the past, because you think that you need lots of money, green fingers, or a skill to arrange flowers successfully? Phffft ! (Sorry about that, a bit of unrehearsed flatulence there), it's so easy anyone can do it (Can you open the window a bit, phew ! ... ta), and if you have trouble affording the basic plants and flowers, well, then why not liberate them from someone's front garden instead ? they're only left in the dirt being neglected, being rained on, or the cat waters them.

Merv has some great ideas for you, (Pull up the flowers, plant the cat), for displaying your flowers in stylish yet simple ways, that will amaze your friends, who hitherto thought the nearest you got to flowers was attending funerals, or eating them for a bet. Even if you haven't got a single vase in the house, you can enjoy cut flowers.

Wine orlager bottles e.g. come in a variety of interesting shapes and colours, and reduce arranging to its basics, and just think of the fun emptying them first. Forget the flowers even, just enjoy the emptying. I choose flowers with large heads like gerbera, lilies, orchids, triffids, or sunflowers - add one stem per bottle and line them up on your mantelpiece for instant glamour, add a few beer mats, a few empty fag packets for effect, viola ! Urbanellia instantly, who says flower-arranging isn't fun ? and you can make a political statement too... don't smoke, do flower arranging.

Jugs, teapots, empty tesco baked bean cans, even jam jars can all be used for displaying flowers, wash the golly and Tesco labels off first it's a bit un-PC now, (especially Tesco labels, which can get you unwelcome mail from the monopoly commission). With smaller containers such as teapots and jam jars, the flowers look better with the stems cut short, (or they just fall out all over the floor basically). Choose flowers with full heads like dahlias, carnations, chrysanthemums, triffids (so what ? I like triffids !), and daffodils, fill out with interesting foliage for that rustic feel.

Maybe you have got a suitable vase, but it's ugly ? (we've all been there, and it isn't just vases is it ?), or the colour doesn't go with your flowers, or you are tired of looking at it (so why didn't you dump it ?). Try to co-ordinate the flowers with the colours on your walls, pizza (With schrizo and Anchovies), is pretty near to mine e.g. so anything goes with that....

Alternatively cover the outside of the vase in a double-sided adhesive tape, stick lager labels vertically around. Tuck the ends of some leaves underneath and stick them down, and add some dry roasted peanuts (Not salted), for that Urban effect, that is so 'In' these days. Some houseplant leaves look wonderful for this as they are glossy, or have exotic markings and colouration, if yours has lost its gloss (Gill, we've all been there too), try some KY jelly, 3 in 1 oil, or vaseline, but ask permission (and cut out the smutty, ageist jokes), first.

If they have no leaves (i.e. If they're like mine and haven't been watered since 1999 when I was cut rather sort), then wind some string - (plain or coloured) - in coils around the bottles and jars for an ethnic look, (but check it's not on the endangered string list first), or even some satin parcel ribbon for a shiny finish, if you want to explore your feminine side. I stick CD covers on mine of Mantovani, and added some painted barbed wire with glitter, it's a great talking point, and stops people nicking your display too.

Next week, TV a force for good ? or just a box with idiots in it..?