AT last, a sensible use for tea - and no, I don't mean as a refreshing beverage.

To me, it has always been a great mystery why folk insist on downing vats of the stuff. Does it offer the promise of eternal life?

But as a treatment for bags under the eyes, it could be just the thing. Apparently, placing caffeinated tea bags under one's eyes can ease dark circles and bags, the caffeine in the tea containing antioxidants and possibly helping increase blood flow to the skin.

It is something many of our frontline politicians could do with, especially in the midst of Brexit machinations.

Many folk in the UK harbour the wish that said politicians take a dose of something far stronger and more toxic, but let's cut them some slack.

Watching Theresa May under fire in a raucous House of Commons this week, it was obvious that afterwards she needed a lie down with tea bags under her eyes. Indeed, most of her front bench could have joined her. Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond appeared particularly badly affected.

As my dear departed mum might say, oblivious to the demands on our leaders: "He/she needs a ruddy good night's sleep."

I imagine cabinet ministers lying side-by-side in a dark room in Downing Street, making small talk as the caffeine kicks in.

How long would it be before the thought occurred to someone that, with Brexit looming, there might be a tea shortage?

"Damned good stuff this. We could stockpile tea bags, like medicines," muses Michael Gove, studying his smooth peri-orbital skin in a gold-framed compact mirror.

"Then we could look youthful and handsome forever."

No-one answers, but they're all thinking the same thing: "Ha. It'll take far more than tea bags, Michael."