WITH a list of participants approaching Grand National proportions, it is surely time for a radical rethink of the Conservative Party’s leadership contest.

In a country beset by rancour over Brexit, parliamentary stagnation – over Brexit – and uncertainty over, er... Brexit, now is not the time to countenance endless rounds of vote-casting by Tory navel-gazers, to elect a leader who will likely face the same intractable hurdles as their predecessor.

A speedier process is required, something with an element of absurd theatre to reflect these politically slapstick times – and a traditional Bank Holiday event, most recently held in Gloucestershire last Monday, provides the ideal blueprint.

The annual Cheese Roll at Cooper’s Hill, Brockworth – basically, running down a very steep hill in pursuit of a round of cheese (‘round’ isn’t the word but please don’t bother to correct, as life is too short) – would be a simple way to decide which leadership hopeful becomes the Tories’, well, big cheese.

And brutal too. Limbs are regularly broken, sprained ankles and snapped ligaments are legion. But hey, if you want to lead the country, a little pain is mandatory.

So, just line them all up at the top of the hill and send them off. First to the bottom wins.

To inject a little bit of Parliament into the proceedings. they could all be instructed to wave their order papers on the way down – and if an element of the chase is required, Speaker of the House John Bercow could be designated as the human ‘cheese’ to be pursued.

Given his status as a member of the Conservative Party that many of his counterparts love to hate, it might encourage the leadership hopefuls to go even more quickly. Anything, frankly, to get this unappetising spectacle over as quickly as possible.