First intensive care Covid patient in Newport a year on

Scott Howell, aged 49, from Wyllie near Blackwood, says he nearly died twice after his heart stopped, and he became convinced he was going to die for eight months after leaving hospital.

Scott Howell outside his home near Blackwood, where he lives with wife Helen and his children

Now at his home which he shares with wife Helen and three children – two of them foster children – the civil servant, and self-confessed former workaholic, has shared how a difficult year has changed his outlook.

“It was Friday, March 6, when I knew I was seriously ill”, he recalled. “No-one really knew about it [Covid] at the time.

“On the Thursday I had climbed the four flights of stairs I climb every day, and told my sister I just felt completely out of breath. She replied it was because I was overweight, which we had a laugh about. But something wasn’t right.

“The next day Helen and I went to Bryn Meadows for a spa day. I just couldn’t do it, I felt so bad.

“I got home and hit my bed with my coat on. I felt cold, had a massive headache, and was struggling to breathe.

“I didn’t want to go to hospital because I thought it would be a long wait, but we went to Ystrad Mynach [hospital] and I had a test. They told me I was negative for Covid but had double pneumonia.

“I still wasn’t worried. I texted my boss to say I wouldn’t be in for a few days.

“Then on the Sunday (March 8), they transferred me to the Royal Gwent after diagnosing me with sepsis – but a couple of weeks off work and I thought I’d be back to normal.”

It would actually be eight months before Mr Howell returned to anything like normal life, after he was diagnosed with coronavirus and then placed into an induced coma.

“I don’t remember a thing,” he explained. “I don’t recall going to the Royal Gwent. But I did text my wife to say I loved her before they put me in the coma, so I must have been conscious of the risks.

“I also remember, probably on the Monday morning, my wife and mother coming to see me in boiler suits, and people observing from outside. I wondered why they were looking in rather than coming to see me. I do remember that quite vividly.”

He also remembers his dreams vividly while in the coma until Wednesday, March 25.

“It’s really strange because I wasn’t conscious I had Covid, and yet the nightmares centred around having it,” he said.

“I had a few [nightmares] that kept repeating, and which I still get.

“One I am in an underground chamber and nurses and doctors are doing tests on me for Covid. They are giving me secret drugs.

“In another I’m asked to fix the US Presidential race by Donald Trump. He gives me £400 million and says if I don’t win it for him I’ll be killed.

“I’ve never been able to particularly remember my dreams, but since the coma I think about them so clearly.”

Due to the negative result days before a positive result on March 10, Mr Howell gave Covid to those who visited him in hospital, eventually giving it to 26 people.

“People weren’t taking it that seriously, and I don’t think many really thought I had it," he said.

“The doctors came to see me without PPE. Until that Monday it felt quite relaxed. That might have been me – I wasn’t computing what a dangerous situation I was in.”

When he came out of the coma, he says it wasn’t as positive an experience as some might imagine.

Scott Howell in hospital. Picture: Nick Mason

Scott Howell in hospital. Picture: Nick Mason

“It was miserable,” he recalled. “I was just convinced I was in hospital until I died.

“In the seventh week, on the Saturday before I came out, I had a water infection from a catheter I’d had in for seven weeks.

“My temperature went through the roof and the medics thought there might be a chance I had Covid again.

“I was put in an isolation room again and I can’t tell you how low I felt.

“It felt completely different to the first time. The nurses came in with full PPE, gave me what I needed and left. It felt more brutal, and had to be because of how the [national] picture had changed.

“They told me I was there until the Monday when I got the [negative] result, but I couldn’t cope. My mental health was shot. I rang my brother and told him they’d captured me.”

Scott Howell in hospital. Picture: Nick Mason

On Wednesday, April 29, Mr Howell was filmed leaving the Royal Gwent on a wheelchair to applause from staff.

“The initial feeling was complete freedom and relief,” he remembered. “I’d never been in hospital for a sustained period before that.

“I couldn’t wait for the cwtches from my girls, to hold my wife’s hand again, and to smell air that wasn’t stale.”

Great news - the first #Coronavirus patient to be admitted to the Royal Gwent Hospital's #intensivecare unit was discharged home today!

This video shows Scott Howell leaving his ward to be reunited with his wife & children at home. #NHSWales @GrangeCritCare #COVID19Maldives pic.twitter.com/QPdV1GeIY7

— Aneurin Bevan University Health Board (@AneurinBevanUHB) April 29, 2020

But the positive feeling quickly turned to almost unbearable mental health struggles.

He used a walking frame for two months, and his family moved his bedroom because he was too weak to navigate the stairs. It all contributed to the “constant” feeling he was going to die.

“It has been a long battle with it. Every time I felt a twinge I felt I could have a heart attack. I was just waiting for it every day.

“It was an overriding sense of helplessness and fear too. I’ve never been someone to overly fear death, but for the last year the possibility of death has felt so real. It’s difficult to get how that feels across.

Scott Howell in hospital. Picture: Nick Mason

“I became stressed. I have young kids and a mortgage to pay off. I worried about how I’d leave Helen.

“Every day I’d watch the numbers [of deaths] going up and up and I convinced myself it was my fate.”

His loss of a sharp wit also added to his poor mental health.

“I enjoyed telling a joke, but now my brain feels so foggy. I often find myself knowing a joke I want to make, but not finding the words to tell it. That’s tough.”

Mr Howell’s struggles have since been diagnosed as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

He says Helen often points out he is “being a bit blunt”, but he makes no apologies over his brutal honesty when he comes across lockdown rule-breakers and Covid deniers.

“I know I’m blunter than I was before, but I do feel it’s my duty in a way.

“Why would these people [rule-breakers] put others at risk? Just wait, it’s not a big chunk of our lives in the grand scheme of things.

“During ‘Eat Out To Help Out’ in August we went to the local pub and I was called over to a table of about 12 men. They told me I didn’t have Covid – that it was all made up. ‘I don’t doubt you were ill’, they said, ‘but you probably just had a bad bout of pneumonia’.

“They genuinely thought the government had made it up to control people. I had to walk away in the end, I didn’t have the strength to argue with them.

“It wasn’t just one or two of them, most of them thought the same. It’s so dangerous. I saw how hard those nurses worked to keep me alive. What an insult to them.”

Scott Howell is out every morning for an hour - one of a few changes he has made to his life since recovering from Covid

He believes most don’t realise what medical professionals are going through daily.

“I watched them properly for five weeks, and they are unbelievable.

“When I was in intensive care on the cardiology ward, where my heart was failing, a nurse called Ann sat with me for hours. She’d come back to work after retiring.

“I asked her why she would put herself through it. ‘Because I will always be a nurse’, she said. How brilliant is that? Every day they’re facing death, and that woman stood up when she was well within her rights to enjoy her retirement. I thought she was remarkable.

“They’re often on 12-hour shifts working flat out. They’d come into the ward and I’d ask for a drink, and they’d change into new PPE to do that for me. Then someone else would have a request and they would have to change again. And they did that all day every day, and never faltered.”

Scott Howell outside his home near Blackwood, where he lives with wife Helen and his children

A year on, Mr Howell’s life has changed markedly. As well as dropping from 15 to 11 stone, he has made changes which he says have made him happier.

“I feel much more grateful for what I have got,” he said. “I was a workaholic before and I’m certainly not now.

“Before I had Covid I started work at 7.45am and would usually still be working at 8pm. I don’t regret it, I wanted to get on and do well – but now I’ve realised it isn’t worth it for me.

“I want to spend time enjoying my life with my family, and to appreciate them perhaps more than I have.

“I’m going to go on more holidays, even if it’s just to west Wales. I do feel it’s time to try and really enjoy life now, before I get too old.”

Work, as a civil servant, remains a big part of his life though, and he was overjoyed to return to full time employment on November 22.

“It’s been fantastic for my mental health and was probably when things started to change.

“Talking to different people makes a massive difference, and I’m really grateful that they still treat me as the same Scott before I had Covid and was all over the press.”

He initially rejected approaches from the press, but says after being convinced by consultant Nick Mason, who is also a hospital photographer, he enjoys telling his story to celebrate those who saved his life.

“Nick came to see me and asked if he could take some photos, and I didn’t want to.

“But he said I was the first real positive story, possibly in Wales, and he felt it would be really good for the NHS and the country if I shared my story. He didn’t want me to disappear and be forgotten.

“Once I agreed my face just seemed to be getting everywhere, which felt bizarre.

“If I can show how much the NHS should be appreciated, then that’s great. But I get loads of stick for it from my mates!”

Life has never been better for Mr Howell, and he attributes that, in part, to his time in intensive care.

On most mornings he spends an hour walking beside the Sirhowy River near his home.

“It’s not something I did before, and I’m delighted I’ve started. I feel fantastic and mentally in a good place.

Scott Howell at his home near Blackwood, where he says every day feels surreal

“I finally feel I’ve got my old fight back. I might die tomorrow, but I’ve stopped thinking I will. Considering my heart stopped twice, I think that is something to celebrate.”

He’s just had his first vaccination, and wants to use his own story as a plea to people to get theirs.

“Please have it. Our doctors, nurses, and all the rest of the staff working for the NHS work far too hard for us to pass up these vaccines.

“They’re as good as any health service in the world, and they saved my life free of charge. How lucky am I?”