Newport mum shares her experience miscarrying twins

In 2019 Lizzie Gladwyn and her partner Jonathan Palmer were overjoyed when they discovered they were expecting twins - and more than a little surprised as Ms Gladwyn had previously been told she would struggle to conceive as she had been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome.

At their dating scan, the couple, who live in Newport, found out that their twins were sharing the same placenta. 

As the pregnancy progressed, Ms Gladwyn, originally from Hereford, suffered from a lot of bleeding, pain, and had many trips to A&E where she said they were expected the worst.

The couple were later told the babies - both girls - were showing signs of Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome, a rare complication due to them sharing a placenta, meaning one was getting too much oxygen and nutrients, while the other wasn't getting enough.

It was on New Year's Eve, in the 21st week of pregnancy, when Ms Gladwyn realised something was seriously wrong.

"I felt unwell all day," she said. "Exhausted, in pain, uncomfortable, and not feeling right.

"I could still feel the girls, so I tried to get an early night.

"In the early hours of the morning I knew something was wrong. I was having a lot of sharp, stabbing pains. By the time we got to the Royal Gwent I knew I was having contractions."

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Sadly, when they got to the hospital, their worst fears were confirmed.

"A doctor scanned me and told us both girls had passed away and I was in labour," said Ms Gladwyn. "We'd be meeting our girls today.

"I remember just wailing and looking at my partner and saying sorry over and again.

"They asked us if we had names for the girls and if they were for a specific twin. I said we'd chosen the names Lili Palmer for the smaller twin and Poppy Palmer for the larger one."

Ms Gladwyn said the support of midwife Wendy and the ward sister was invaluable during the painful experience.

The midwives gave Ms Gladwyn a selection of blankets and 'cuddle pockets' - bespoke hand-knitted pockets designed for babies who are less than 24 weeks, who are placed inside and the ribbons tied together - as well as a selection of little hats and a tiny, knitted Teddy bear for the couple to give the two girls.

"We chose a bigger pocket for the girls to go into so that we could keep them together," she said. "I was terrified of hurting them when I was cuddling them and so having these little pockets to help me hold them made a huge difference.

"It gave me the confidence to cuddle them and hold them close.

"I treasure those memories."

Lili and Poppy were put in a 'cold cot' - a special type of cot used for stillborn or miscarried babies which keeps them cool so families can spend longer with them.

Ms Gladwyn said: "The ward supported us to take photos of the girls, give them a bath if we wanted, and to take hand and footprints of the girls to keep.

"It wasn't something I'd thought of before and now looking back I am so thankful they did this with me.

"I found it difficult enough to grieve as I felt I didn't have any memories of them alive and only after they had passed away."

Lili and Poppy

Mr Palmer, who has a daughter from a previous relationship, also faced the heart-breaking conversation of explaining what had happened to his daughter's mother, who broke the news to their child.

"Hearing her ask if she was still a big sister was horrible, said Ms Gladwyn. "We tried our best to reassure her that she would always be their big sister even though they weren't here with us."

One year later, in January 2021, the couple welcomed their 'rainbow baby', when Evie Palmer was born.

Ms Gladwyn said her pregnancy with Evie was "challenging", but she had arrived happy and healthy.

"Holding her in my arms was like a dream," she said. "She is an active baby who is already trying to get on the move and adores people.

"We can't seem to go anywhere without her making friends smiling or chatting to people in the street."

For a long time, Ms Gladwyn said her arms physically ached to hold her twin daughters. She would hold onto their cuddle pocket and little blankets, which she said helped her feel a little bit closer to them and reminded her she had given birth to them.

She said she have since found out that Sands, a charity which supports anyone affected by stillbirth and neonatal death, had been fundraising for the Royal Gwent Hospital to have this equipment for bereaved parents.

The Welsh Ambulance Service has introduced handmade 'cuddle pockets' so that stillborn babies can be transported to hospital with compassion.

Jen Coates, director of bereavement support services at Sands, said: "This is a wonderful initiative by the Welsh Ambulance Service that will help all those local parents whose babies are sadly stillborn at home and need to make a journey together to hospital.

"When a baby is stillborn it is vital that they and their parents are treated with the utmost respect and sensitivity and these cuddle pockets are a wonderful example of compassionate care.”

Lizzie Gladwyn Jonathan Palmer with baby Evie

Sands is here to support anyone affected by the death of a baby. Sands' free Helpline is available on 0808 164 3332 10am to 3pm Monday to Friday and 6-9pm Tuesday and Thursday evenings. You can also email helpline@sands.org.uk for support.

Do you have an experience you would like to share? You can contact our reporter Rachel Nurse or contact the Argus direct.