There are some adverts I really hate.

Seriously. Some annoy me so much that I'd like to put my hand through the screen and choke the irritating actors with whatever product they're pushing until they keel over and admit defeat.

Like Barry Scott, for instance, who is more commonly known as 'the Cillit Bang guy.' Decked out in his kitchen casuals, this smiley, shouty man is so famous you wonder whether local teens rush up to him in the street in his hometown mimicking, 'BANG! And the dirt is gone.' But all was ruined for me when it emerged he's not really Barry Scott after all. He's just an actor PRETENDING to be Barry Scott.

If that makes any sense.

Is that not just a big disappointment, or what? Even so, he seems to have rather a large following. I for one am a Barry Scott fan, simply for the face he pulls in that Cillit Bang toilet advert and the noise that emerges with it. 'Pneeew!' or something along those lines.

I crack up every time.

Yet when I first saw this ad, a couple of questions circled in my head.

Such as: is Mr Scott some kind of celebrity? Why is the advert cleverly indicating that we should actually know who this guy is?

Just WHY should we buy his product other than the fact that it cleans old pennies? Miraculous.

And what's more, the product sounds rather rude, like some sort of STI medication.

Correct me if I'm wrong there.

In any case, I'm not going to plug the wonders of Cillit Bang anymore. I'm actually here to plug Sheila's Wheels.

Well, kind of.

Amongst the vast array of really bad advertisements that grace our daily viewing, there's quite often a winner. Take Herbal Essences, for example, and their 'Silk n' Shine' range of shampoos and conditioners guaranteed to give you a 'post organic glow'.

Post organic glow? Oh no, my life is not complete!

I want one! I want one! THIS INSTANT. I'm going to throw a Veruca Salt-esque tantrum if I don't get one.

Not that I actually have a clue what such a glow is; I may be intelligent but sometimes I can be easily blinded by science. Is it some kind of halo?

And why should I want one enough to rush out and buy the stuff?

In any case, the colourful advert makes you feel as though you're missing out because if YOU don't use aforementioned product, YOU don't have a post-organic glow.

Shame on you.

Of course, that's the whole point of advertising. But it might help to know what it is you're absentmindedly lusting after. We're not talking sexy sofas here, or Nescafe, or even M&S food. No. We're talking a GLOW.

But alas, let's not forget the wonderfully irritating Sheila's Wheels. It wasn't so bad at first. In fact, it was rather catchy, unless you heard it just before bedtime and it filled your dreams with happy women in glittery pink dresses singing from a pink car.

If you don't like pink, then that's more of a nightmare.

Anyhow, in came the Aussie guy with his hat and interlude.

Needless to say, it quickly grated on my nerves and probably the nerves of everyone else in the country. Every time I see that ad I run to the corner with my hands over my ears, praying that the horror will just go away.

Okay, I lied. I only do that when I catch a glimpse of Big Brother's Nikki.

No worries though, because rather recently, I found the antidote. To Sheila, that is, not Nikki (unfortunately). Whilst surfing some of my favourite sites, I came across the home of the Amateur Transplants. If anyone has heard the tremendously amusing rendition of The Jam's Going Underground, lovingly sprinkled with expletives and basically pointing out the many faults of the London Underground, then you'll very well know who I'm talking about here.

Made up of Adam Kay and Suman Biswas and a trusty keyboard, the Transplants' funny lyrics are enough to make anyone laugh out loud, especially on public transport where other passengers are guaranteed to give you a strange look as though you're drunk and laughing at the dots on the floor.

And no, admitting, 'I was just laughing at these guys singing in my ears!' doesn't make the situation any better.

Trust me, I've been there.

These talented parody-writers have come up with something to possibly top their past efforts: a hilarious take on Sheila's Wheels.

Shortly after hearing this I had to mop up the coffee I had snorted over my keyboard because quite frankly, it's funny.

Fancy a listen? Then go here: www.amateurtransplants.com However, if you aren't partial to blatant sexism relating to women driving, and/or curse words then I suggest you avoid this like the plague. Just. Don't Click. Okay? Don't say I didn't warn you.

As a woman who is currently learning to drive, I find this terribly harsh, yet great. Not to mention somewhat true owing to my own hazardous driving skills.

And it's nice to see that someone else is just as annoyed at that horrid advert as I am; annoyed enough to pen a BETTER version.

Blare it loudly from your car stereo in the next traffic jam you find yourself in. I dare you.

With regards to the rest of these awful advertisements; ignore them. Ignore them and they will eventually go away. Never give in. Sacrifice your favourite programme just for an hour or so and go for a quiet walk instead, which is just what I'm about to do.

That is, once I've got that post-organic glow...