Blog three.

Those of you with children may notice that these blogs are numbered or lettered in accordance with school newsletter rules.

Many of you will have no idea what I mean by this but there are those of you who, like me, get letters sent home with glaring punctuation errors, spelling mistakes and bad grammar.

Now I am the first to admit that my spelling is bad, my punctuation no better and my grammar ain't up to much neither but then I'm not being paid by the education authority.

A few years ago things got so bad that a friend and I started up our own fictitious school and sent out our own letters.

I have included one of these newsletters in this blog(below); it's time for the world to know!

On the subject of language, am I the only person who reads text messages as written? For example, I read gr8 as grr eight then there is a whirr and a click (possibly audible to others) as my brain reorders itself and says that's great'.

Maybe I'm just a bit dumb.

ST DUMBOS PRIMERY SCOOL Dear parent's.

The locale Health Authority has decided that all children aged 5 and 6 should receive a further MMR booster.

This will be carried out in school on thursday. Too school nurses will be in attendants in the mane hall and to save time, children will be injected at both ends.

A BIG thank you to police officer Tower who has been teaching the year, 4 pupils about road safety. Thanks to PO Tower's sizeable involvement with the school the number of accidents has been dramatically reduction.

On a relative theme Detective Sergeant Ess has spoken to the school as a hole, about theft. A number of items has been going missing from both the classrooms and the cloakrooms. DS Ess kindly gave a talk and spoke to those who looked shifty afterwards. Further to this Miss Appropriation has been suspended on full pay, pending further enquiries. She will be temporarily replaced by Mr M Bezel.

T. Hick Head