THE loss of a baby will never go away no matter how long ago it happened or how many children are successfully born afterwards.

Many parents who lose a baby struggle with finding support from people who understand what they have gone through.

Last year, we visited a group of mums in Pontllanfraith who had gone on to have more children after the death of their baby to find out how their support group had helped them to cope with their losses. A year on, as Baby Loss Awareness Week UK (October 9-15) begins, we caught up with several of the mums and how they have coped being without their vital support group during the coronavirus pandemic.

MORE NEWS:

The group, which was based at Elim Baptist Church in Pontllanfraith prior to the coronavirus pandemic, has been unable to meet since March due to the ongoing restrictions. The mums who attend the group from across Gwent have found that it has been severely missed.

Angela Carroll, from Risca, helps to organise the group and attends after her second child Libby died at the age of six months in 2014. She also has son Evan and her 'rainbow child' - a baby born after losing another - Rosie. Ms Carroll said: “The group has been a lifeline for many mums wanting to come to a baby group where we all have that shared understanding of loss and grief, where we can find support, to have fun with our rainbow babies with others who truly understand. Where we can talk openly about our grief if we wish.”

Despite not being able to meet up, the mums continue to help support each other as best as they can. Ms Carroll said: “We all remain in contact with each other and are always there for each other.”

Laura Jones set the group up after her fear of dread in going to toddler groups with youngest son Ellis after losing daughter Hollie and almost her own life in the process. Ms Jones wanted somewhere she could go to get the mother and baby experience without having to worry about the awkwardness when talking about Hollie. She hopes to be able to continue with the group soon. She said: “Not being able to run our little support group through this pandemic has been really difficult. I have greatly missed all of the mums and their little rainbows. I am so aware that parents are still in need of support and care from people even during these unprecedented times.

“Covid has put a stop to our group for now but will return ASAP as I feel it is a necessary outlet for us mums still struggling and processing our lifelong grief. I know that after this pandemic is over there will be a lot of mums needing support and comfort, either after just having their rainbow baby or whether they are further down this lonely road of grief. It is something that we will all have to carry always.

“It is so important to keep talking to family and friends to get the support you need. I know I speak for myself and many other mums when I say I will be so grateful when we can reopen Butterflies and talk face to face with each other again.

“There is this unique language between us all in which only those who have lost a child can truly understand.”

Lizzy Howard is so thankful for the support and understanding she has received at Butterflies. She said: “Other parents who understand the lifelong journey of of losing a child has been so precious to me and I really feel for those who can’t access support like this because Covid doesn’t stop loss, grief or loneliness.”

One mum, who didn’t want to be named, no longer attended after returning to work prior to the pandemic but still keeps in regular contact as the support has been vital. She said: “When I was attending Butterflies it was so comforting to be able to talk about my loss in a comfortable and casual way. To be able to relate to all the mums who attended and have a good cry and talk about what my husband and I went through. It is a fabulous group where everyone is so friendly and welcoming. Even though I don’t attend anymore due to work commitments, I have definitely made friends and still keep in touch.”