“Oh. OH. OH. What does that sign say? Now sling yer hook or I’ll break yer face.”
For better or worse, Barry Island has become synonymous with Nessa jokes, references to Dave’s Coaches and other moments from BBC’s wildly popular sitcom Gavin and Stacey in which the seaside resort was a favourite setting.
Perhaps it’s both blessing and curse for Barry Island residents, who have seen an influx of tourism from the programme, but also no doubt an irritating tendency to be asked ‘What’s occurin?” instead of how are you.
There’s far more to Barry than this, however, and it is the ideal place to take the kids for a sunny day on the beach.
Superfans can take the official Gavin and Stacey tour (although at £26 for an adult ticket, it doesn't come cheap). Otherwise just pack your bucket and spade, a cool box with sandwiches and sweets and your swimsuit and head down to one of Newport’s nearest beaches to make the most of the summer sun.
Enjoy the hillside paths or golden sand, or if taking in the landscape gets a little sedate head to the fun fair which is open throughout the summer, offering dodgems, a waltzer, fun house, tea cups, trampolines, ferris wheel and other rides which are sure to get the adrenaline going.
Check the forecast before you go and you should have panoramic views across the Bristol Channel and the wider Vale countryside.
Of course, there are also the seaside mainstays of chip shops and ice cream vans for when paddling gets tiring and you need a pick-me-up.
You can also find an array of family events if you plan ahead, with a summer schedule of weekend activities that are sure to keep even the most distractable children enthralled.
One of the most spectacular is to be the ‘Isle of Fire’ on June 19 and 20. The island will become a fiery landscape with fire breathing flowers and ‘scorching sculptures’, from 9pm on both nights.
Before this, on July 5 and 6, international Volleyball players will compete in the Welsh International Open from 9am until 5pm each day.
There will also be a music weekender on June 26 and 27 with jazz, rock and samba from noon each day, street theatre all afternoon on August 2 and 3, a World War One Commemoration day with a soldier’s encampment on August 10 and beach sports, a climbing all and graffiti workshops on August 16 and 17. On the last weekend in August there will be ‘cinema by the sea’, showing The Goonies on August 23 and Mamma Mia on August 24.
Deckchairs will be available to hire to watch the films, or why or why not bring your own blanket or camping chair?
These events all take place on the prom or gardens.
For more information call 01446 704737 or visit www.visitthevale.com.