Men.
1) Go to Tesco.
2) Pick up Tesco Value card. 73p.
3) Pick up Tesco Value roses. One dozen at £6.99. Bargain.
4) Remove all Tesco stickers from flowers and card after paying.
5) Go to customer services where flowers will be wrapped in paper to make it look like they came from a proper flower shop.
6) Hand over to other half.
7)Tell her it's ok really, you don't mind that she didn't bother getting you anything because she thought you wouldn't be bothering.
8) Accept that she'll pay for dinner tonight.
9)Total cost = £7.72. Total brownie points = unlimited.
10) Sorted
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