MUCH mirth has been triggered at my expense during the past few days, in the aftermath of my tearing shoulder muscles in admittedly bizarre circumstances.

Through the unexpectedly exquisite pain - thankfully diminishing - that accompanied me in the days following, I had to laugh too at the sheer randomness of it all.

Put simply, who could possibly predict that the removal of a belt could cause so much discomfort and disruption?

There we were, in the middle of the recent heatwave. On returning hot and bothered from work, and in a rush to change into t-shirt and shorts, I admit I got impatient over the task.

It’s an old, gnarly belt that snagged on a loop, so I gave it what my dear departed mother would have called a “ruddy good” tug.

The resulting explosion of pain in my left shoulder brought me howling to my knees, my cries soon mixed with laughter at the sheer absurdity of it all.

There followed a trip to A&E, x-rays, a sling, strong painkillers, anti-inflammatories, the works - and guffaws aplenty from family, friends, work colleagues. Oh, ha ha.

However, I have consoled myself with the thought that, when it comes to the sustaining of injuries in strange circumstances, I am not alone - and it happens to the best of us.

I am reminded of beanpole high jumper Blanka Vlasic who, exercising in her hotel room before the 2009 World Championships in Berlin, smacked her head on a door frame and required six stitches. She won gold though, and so had the last laugh, I guess.

And at least she could claim to have been injured in preparation for a display of sporting excellence.

Four-time Grand Slam tennis champion Kim Clijsters has no such excuse. The Belgian once fell over her dog while playing football in her garden.

Maybe she just didn’t spot it? Sorry, no excuses - this was a Great Dane.

I know, I know. These are sports stars, you’re thinking, and you cannot possibly compare your mishap with theirs.

No? Just watch me. The point being that these incidents and the injuries that ensued are cited as examples merely by the fact of their victims being famous.

There will be countless other folk out there who have done similar things and ended up in hospital, but whose exploits are not splashed all over the front pages.

Thus, I am reminded too, of former Manchester United and England defender Rio Ferdinand, who several years ago managed to injure a tendon in his knee simply by putting his feet up to watch a bit of telly. I’ll wager that’s happened to more than a few of us.

His former England colleague, goalkeeper David James, was at least being a little more active. He once strained his back while reaching for the TV remote control.

Watching the box, it seems, is a risky business.

Anyone who has spent serious time in a kitchen will know that it is an environment jam-packed with perils - sharp knives, hot hobs, you name it.

OK, how about salad cream? Former Wimbledon goalkeeper Dave Beasant knows all about salad cream. He severed a tendon in a toe and was sidelined for weeks after dropping a bottle of the stuff on his foot.

My favourite cautionary tale though, concerns one Kirk Broadfoot, ex-Rangers defender and a man clearly not to be trusted with food preparation under any circumstances.

He required hospital treatment in May 2009 after his face was scalded by near boiling liquid from - wait for it - an exploding poached egg.

Tear- inducingly, rib-crackingly hilarious, isn’t it?

Undeniably yes - come on, admit it, if someone told you that story, you’d have a good cackle about it - and yet at the same time, no.

So, without doubt, it is a very dangerous world out there, indeed, in here. In fact, everywhere.

Danger, it ought to be emphasised, lurks around every corner.

I can only hope that the Central Office of Information commissions a new series of terrifying public information films to warn we hapless citizens about the awful risks we run in doing, er, just about anything.

As I look around me whilst typing this, I can see danger everywhere.

Best just stay perfectly still. Forever.