It's long been known that Nottinghamshire spinner Graeme Swann is a bit barking and if further proof was needed then he provided it with his thoughts on Monty Panesar's batting.

His fellow slow bowler may have denied him the chance to raise his bat for a half-century on Thursday but Swann didn't hold any grudges against the man with a Test average of 5.33.

“I keep telling Monty in the nets that he bats like Yuvraj Singh,” said the colourful Swann, who never disappoints the journalists looking for a juicy, entertaining quote rather than someone towing the stale party line.

“He's got a Test century in him somewhere I tell you!”

The Fanatics (the less-annoying Aussie version of the Barmy Army) have got the right idea. A batch have set up camp a mere 50-yard stumble to the north-west of the ground.

Luckily there is security team on patrol throughout the night to ensure that nobody succumbs to the temptation of clambering over the fencing for a game of drunken midnight cricket on the Swalec Stadium outfield.

Not wanting to play up to the national stereotype, their tents were surrounded by the smoke from their breakfast barbecues before play got under way yesterday.

This morning's weather forecast means umbrellas may be necessary to get the coals burning.

There is plenty of pie in the Sky commentary box. Everyone is looked after superbly in the Media Centre but on top of the bottles of water in the fridge were some rather tasty-looking pork pies that caught the eye of one of the nation's top writers.

The individual, whose identity will remain closely-guarded (though putting comedian Ricky Grover in a Google image search will provide a visual clue), was disappointed to hear that the sumptuous pastries were property of the TV boys.

One of the day two highlights in the stands was picked up by the cameras when a fan dressed as David Gower, complete with curly blond wig, pads and bat, was lifted high above the heads of the Fanatics.

But also in attendance dressed as a cricketer was a member of the Argus sportsdesk who was attempting to trick his fellow punters into thinking Ryan Sidebottom was cheering his team mates on from the Grandstand (he was also curiously in tow flanked by three male nuns).

However, my sources tell me that the tipsy individual was last seen being heckled and having to defend himself against taunts that he looked more like Welsh warbler Shirley Bassey.