"I LOVE it when a plan comes together," used to proclaim A Team leader John ‘Hannibal’ Smith at the successful conclusion of another ingenious scheme.

Well, England didn’t have that luxury, and must go back to the drawing-board after a five-day battering at the hands of the Aussies, but they do so at 0-0 following a dramatic finale at the Swalec Stadium.

It seemed simple. Get the Aussies, who don’t have a spinner of worth, to a turning Cardiff wicket rather than letting them fill their boots at a Lord’s ground that they have not lost at since 1934.

Then heap the pressure on with a swinging ball before skittling them out with a twin twirl attack to go one up.

Except the England attack didn’t get the ball moving around and the Graeme Swann-Monty Panesar combo was comprehensively outplayed.

"It’s a good batting wicket,"’ was the quick reply. "It’s not turning as much as we thought it would," was the claim.

Well, it did for Nathan Hauritz, although he did get use of it on day five thanks, who bowled beautifully to overpower the English tag team despite being outnumbered.

Swann and Panesar had combined figures of one for 246, Ricky Ponting their only victim via the inside edge to the latter, while the Aussie off-spinner added the key wicket of skipper Andrew Strauss to his three first-innings scalps.

The Queenslander had been a figure of fun at the start of the week – a chump who didn’t turn it and wouldn’t be able to get out Sir Geoffrey Boycott’s mum. There won’t be quite so many jibes when he takes to the field at Lord’s on Thursday.

But incredibly the tourists were unable to finish off England, who were able to get out of jail thanks to a determined, sensible heroic knock from Paul Collingwood.

The Durham man had been under pressure for his place in some quarters, yet followed a fine first-innings knock with a 245-ball 74 that lasted nearly six hours.

It enabled the last-wicket pair of Jimmy Anderson and Monty Panesar to survive 69 ball and rescue the game – just like Glenn McGrath and Brett Lee at Old Trafford four days ago.

It saved England from a position where they could have found themselves sharing the plight of Andy Murray, who was Scottish rather than British as soon as he was knocked out of Wimbledon.

On Wednesday the silent W of the ECB was proudly pointed out, but the hosts performed so poorly for most of the game that the temptation would have been to disown them. Luckily the gutsy late effort saved the day.

It was always going to be a tense day, but another bizarre Kevin Pietersen dismissal early on added to the nerves in the stands and in the English half of the balcony.

The star batsman was slated for his over-ambition on day one – leave it alone, take your time and turn a start into a century – but on the last of the five he copped it for an incredible misjudgement.

The number four had made an unconvincing start and had already survived a good shout from Ben Hilfenhaus after being rapped on the pads leaving a delivery that was going perilously close to his stumps. He didn’t heed the warning.

The impressive Aussie seamer maintained his excellent line and KP inexplicably decided not to risk nicking it behind. The problem was that his off stump was sent somersaulting through the air.

It got worse for England when the captain top-edged a bouncy Hauritz delivery to keeper Brad Haddin, the ball after smashing him for a boundary.

And they were really under the pump when Matt Prior was also deceived by the spinner’s turn and bounce when dangerously cutting out of the rough to fall to Michael Clarke at slip. It was an ugly shot on a fifth-day pitch that was just as ludicrous as Pietersen’s first-innings sweep.

Another plan had gone by the wayside, this time the one of playing no-frills cricket to keep plenty of men back in the hutch while chipping away at the Aussies’ daunting lead.

The way that the batsmen were nervously playing suggested that there was just one scheme left – glance up to the skies and hope for a shower to come to their rescue. There was to be no such luck.

Paul Collingwood and Andrew Flintoff watchfully made it to lunch, but it was yet another session dominated by Ricky Ponting’s side.

Only one wicket had fallen in the four previous middle sessions – Phil Hughes on day two – but England hopes nosedived when Flintoff was snared by Mitchell Johnson.

A steady 57-run partnership had given the Aussies some cause for concern, and brought cheer to the crowd, who started a Mexican wave, but the all-rounder fell to the first delivery he faced after a mid-session drinks break.

After Stuart Broad followed leg before to Hauritz, Swann had to endure a torrid spell of short stuff from Peter Siddle.

He recovered and played his part in a determined eighth-wicket partnership with Collingwood before swinging across the line and being trapped leg before to Hilfenhaus.

Collingwood inched England closer to the Aussies but his innings came to an end when he was snaffled at gully off Peter Siddle.

And yet the unlikely last pair managed to see England home, Anderson and Panesar punching the air in delight when the umpires told them the good news. Now England must find a way of unsettling the tourists.

While Wales, Cardiff and Glamorgan came through their Ashes Test with flying colours and had a first Test to remember, England are left desperately searching for answers after winning just three sessions of a horror opening. But last night they were just relieved to be doing so on level terms.