The menopause usually affects women in their late forties and fifties although it can happen earlier.

Argus chief sub editor CAROLINE WOOLLARD started going through the change in her early 40s

I KNEW I ought to find out if I was going through premature menopause when my boss offered to let me claim the cost of HRT on expenses - and he was only half joking.

For me - and, looking back, for my mother who also started the change early - irritability was the major symptom.

All someone had to do was say good morning in slightly the "wrong" way and I would snap at them; clearly not an ideal working practice.

So I sat down and wrote a list of my symptoms and, forgetfulness being the second item, I then had to take the piece of paper with me when I visited the doctor.

Also listed were irregular, heavy periods; dry skin; painful joints; headaches; hot flushes; depression; and tiredness.

Quite frankly, I felt as if I were falling to bits and, as a single mother with a then 12-year-old daughter, a mortgage and a stressful job, that just wasn't an option.

A barrage of blood tests, examinations and discussions later and I was the hopeful owner of three months supply of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

The symptoms began to lessen almost immediately and, to the relief of all, I'm now a great deal less irritable.

I have more energy, the hot flushes are gone and although I still sometimes suffer from painful knee and elbow joints painkillers sort that out.

But it wasn't merely a case of taking the drugs and moving on.

The change is just that, a change, and, as with any upheaval, can take a bit of getting used to.

The psychological effects can be immense.

Questions such as "am I still useful as a woman?" and "is it all downhill from here?" loom large.

The trick is to take stock and then do something positive - take control again.

Diet is important as is the perennial plea of doctors, not smoking.

And exercise can give a natural high.

I started going to church again and the fellowship, restoration of belief and moments of quiet reflection and peace go a long way to offsetting the general hassle of life, some of which is caused by the menopause.

I've been on HRT for about two years now and life is a whole lot better.

Menopause certainly isn't a full stop - it's a change, a chance to re-evaluate, and life on the other side is an exciting prospect.

Why I wrote this

The menopause is one of the Western world's taboo subjects; a bit like death, you mustn't talk about it. Well, not talking about it leads to misunderstanding, unnecessary pain and potentially a whole lot of trouble. It's a natural part of a women's life cycle and the more you know about what's happening the better you, and those around you, will be.

Justified irritability

One thing which deserves getting irritable about is the pathetic greed of a government which makes women pay twice for HRT because it contains 10 tablets of one hormone and 10 tablets of another and therefore counts as two medicines - despite the fact that you can't take one without the other.

Factfile

The menopause is simply the name given to the last menstrual period.

In most women this occurs during their late forties or early fifties, although usually periods become irregular for some time before they stop altogether.

In some women it occurs under the age of 40.

A surgical menopause occurs when a woman has a hysterectomy or when both ovaries are removed

Symptoms of the menopause can last a few months or well until a woman's 60s.

Symptoms and signs

Periods tend to get heavier and last longer.

Later on they become more irregular, before stopping altogether.

Hot flushes: the most common symptom when you suddenly feel very hot, particularly around the chest, neck and face, and you will probably turn bright red.

Psychological: feeling low,anxious, depression, insomnia, mood swings, loss of confidence, irritability.

Poor concentration and memory.

Lethargy.Headaches.Dry skin.

Loss of hair or, conversely, increased hair growth (think facial hair).

Dry vagina, leading to painful intercourse.

Oesteoporosis, gradual thinning of the bones, which can lead to the "widow's hump".

Heart disease.

Treatments

Hormone Replacement. Therapy.

Over-the-counter medicines available from chemists.

Changing your diet so that it is balanced and healthy.

Exercise.

Meditation, getting in touch with your spiritual side.

Tips

There are numerous books on the menopause; read up on your options.

Write down your symptoms before you go see the doctor.

If your doctor isn't sympathetic, see another one.

Get all the facts you can and then make an informed decision. HRT does carry a very slight increase in the risk of breast cancer but it's a risk which can be worth taking to regain quality of life.

Talk to your partner, children and work colleagues about what you're going through. Some of them won't want to listen but if they know what's happening it makes it easier to deal with.