IF you've had a wedding in the family, you'll know that your whole world will be turned upside down in the weeks preceding the event! Of course, the plan is that everything should go without a hitch (or rather, the only hitch being between the bride and groom!). An engagement announcement is enough to send the family into a frenzy of activity. The wedding night might be many months away, but you can never start Planning too early. Planning a wedding can place a considerable strain on the whole family, so it's advisable to set aside some time to sit down and plan everything down to the last detail from the church, if it is to be formal wedding through to photographs and flowers. A wedding reception needs careful planning. It is an occasion when people let their hair down and drink a great deal! The amount you allow per person will depend on the capacity of the guests, but a good average is about half a bottle of champagne or wine for each person. If you are catering for the wedding yourself, you can order the drinks on a sale or return basis. If the reception is to be held at an hotel, keep the manager informed about the number of guests who are coming to the wedding, not just the number you have invited. You will be expected to pay for all the food you have ordered, even if some people don't turn up. The traditional wedding party drink is champagne, but less expensive sparkling wines are perfectly acceptable. Soft drinks should always be provided for children and for adults conscious of the drink/ drive laws. It has always been traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding. But today the parents of the groom may also contribute as may the bride and groom. It is not unusual for the bride and groom to pay for the whole wedding themselves if their financial situation warrants it. If you are compiling a wedding present list, remember that not all your friends or relatives have bottomless wallets, so include a few smaller items! To avoid duplications you could use a loose leaf notebook, putting one item on one page. Once a relative chooses a gift, they simply pull out that page. Simple, but it avoids headaches of having three toasters etc. Invitations for anything other than a very small wedding are usually printed or engraved. Good stationers will be able to show you a sample book. In usual circumstances, the invitations will be sent from the bride's parents. It is sometimes difficult amid the chaos organising a big wedding to grasp that it is not mum's day, dad's day or anyone else's day. It's the bride and groom's day and with a lot of forethought, careful planning and hopefully some kind weather it will be a day for them to remember for the rest of their lives.