MUCH wailing and gnashing of teeth today at the news that Tesco made £1 billion in profits in the last six months.

That's a 10 per cent increase on the same period last year, and represents sales of almost £23bn - not far off £1bn a week. What great news that a British company is doing so well. What great news that even more jobs will be created as a result.

Oh, hang on, here come the tree huggers.

Friends of the Earth, which apparently employs someone in the role of "supermarket campaigner", wants the government to "put the brakes on the Tesco juggernaut".

The green (in more ways than one) group says action is needed to protect farmers, small shops and the environment.

Get real.

We live in a capitalist culture. Growth and success are supposed to be encouraged. But, typically, when a company like Tesco reaches a certain size it is suddenly dubbed a threat rather than a success.

What would the campaigners prefer? That Tesco reverts back to the set of scummy little corner shops that it was 20 years ago?

Tesco is a success and makes the profits it does because people use its services. End of story.

Yes, it has a dominant position in its marketplace. Yes, it is expanding into non-food retailing and therefore putting huge pressure on competitors. Yes, it seeks to keep its costs down by getting the lowest prices it can from suppliers.

But it's a business, not a charity.

It's not for the state to "put the brakes on the Tesco juggernaut". It's for consumers to decide by voting with their feet.

And they are - to the tune of almost £1bn a week.

SINGER Katie Melua, the most boring person in pop and saddled with the bloke behind the Wombles as her Svengali, entered the record books yesterday by performing the world's deepest underwater concert.

Melua was apparently 303 metres below sea level when she performed.

Unfortunately, they've let her back up.