I'm sorry to disappoint my huge army of readers but this will be my last blog for a couple of weeks.

First Wife and I are off to Malta for a fact finding mission to see whether it is a suitable place for the likes of us to bring civilisation to.

We have tried Wales and decided that it is too far gone for us to be able to do anything about it.

I understand that at the moment the temperature in Malta is about 10 degrees higher than here.

That's proper degrees, none of your centigrade nonsense.

I've packed my shorts, grey socks, sandals and hankies to knot on my head so I should be alright.

I have also packed four waistcoats in case it turns cooler.

Of course I could take the laptop with me and keep going all the time we are away but I don't think Wife1 would be too keen on that idea.

I could also, apparently, send my blogs using my brilliant new mobile phone but the magnifying glass would be too big to take in my hand luggage.

So, keep my seat warm for me, guys.

Don't let Mark Templeton delete my space to make more room on the hard disk.

I'll be back!