As I mentioned in a comment on one of Kev'?s blogs the other day, Wednesday I think it was, (by the way you don't mind if I call you Kev do you Kev only it's quicker to type Kev than to type Kevin unless you turn it into a couple of lines like this in which case it would be quicker if I just shut up and got on with what I was talking about) Calderdale Council in W. Yorkshire have banned tomato ketchup in schools for health and safety reasons. So I got to thinking, what is so dangerous about ketchup, it has proven health benefits, antioxidants or something, but just how dangerous can it be?

A small child spills ketchup on their clothes, another child sees it, thinks it's blood, faints and bangs their head.

A small child spills ketchup on their clothes and their mum goes ballistic.

A small child spills ketchup on a bigger child's clothes and gets the carp beaten out of them.

A teacher spills ketchup on a child and is accused of assault and traumatising the child and is suspended on full pay for three years while the case is looked into.

A small child spills ketchup on the floor, another child steps sideways to avoid it, steps on a pea and slips over badly bruising their knee.

A small child covers their food in ketchup and accidentally eats a bit of cabbage, realises they've eaten something healthy and is seriously traumatised.

A small child covers their food in ketchup thereby making it more enjoyable, eats it all, is well behaved and awake in the afternoon lessons and the teachers think the child is ill and sends them to the nurse.

I small child gets ketchup in their eye, stands under a pear tree and a pear falls on them.

I am quite surprised that us ketchup users are still alive, I had no idea what dangers I was putting my children into, and we have brown sauce sometimes too! May god have mercy on my soul.