So, there I was in the phone shop purchasing a SIM card for my 02 phone.

Granted, I don't have much use for a mobile as I don't really have lots of people to talk to, and so basically any mobile I have sits like a pristine jewel in my handbag should anyone need to contact me.

In aforementioned phone shop was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOBILE PHONE EVER, aka the Dolce & Gabbana MotoRazr. I'm still mopping up the drool.

Not only was this phone on display to touch and play with and gaze lovingly at its designer gorgeousness, but it stood, in its equally seductive presentation box, at the counter as I was paying for my SIM.

'Just out of interest, how much is that?' I asked. Of course, I knew it was going to be expensive. And not actually needing a phone, I wasn't going to, you know, BUY it or anything.

Curiosity got the better of me. I love gadgets, but that didn't mean I wanted to purchase it. Even though it was pretty and gorgeous and gold. No siree.

'It's £280 on Pay As You Go,' said the salesperson. Like many salespeople, he had this certain look on his face, much to the point of smugness I suppose, and if, like me, you're capable of reading faces easily, this may have annoyed you. But you can't really be nasty to someone who has bee n pleasant to you so far just because they've got 'one of those faces.' It's just not done.

'Oh!' I replied. 'Thanks, it's a gorgeous one.' 'But it's free on contract...' Here we go. I knew what was coming. Before I'd even put my card back in my bag he'd whisked me away to his desk where he proceeded to get me the details.

'Look, it's pointless really,' I said, trying to be nice. I mean, REALLY trying here. Because I hate pushy salespeople. 'I use about £10 a month, if that. I have a phone for emergencies. I was only being nosey...' 'Well there's a twelve month and eighteen month contract. Insert boring and pointless spiel here - by now I had zoned out. I'll give you £50 cash in hand.' 'But...' 'Look, if you work it out...' (he starts tapping away at a calculator and dictating figures to me, saying how much I'd save, etc etc. I don't do maths. It confuses me. So his bid was, once again, pointless.) 'The phone itself is £280, so that means you'd only be paying £90 for a whole year's contract...' 'I seriously don't need it. £35 per month is a lot for me. Like I said, I don't use a phone except for when I have to.' And off he go es. Do these guys ever give up? Actually, wait...they don't.

After trying to include each and every benefit of this package into one hurried sentence, he finally added the line which cliched the big, well, 'NO'.

'Don't you think that if you HAD this many minutes and texts you would use the phone more often?' Err, HELLO?

Okay, I'll put it simply.

1. I don't have many people to call. Of course, a mobile number is nice to give out to people as an additional way of contact seeing as now term has started, I'm usually out of the house. But that's it. Call me during a lecture and I'll see to it that you die. Painfully.

2. I've HAD the posh phones with all the features imaginable, under the assumption that I'd use them all. Did I? No. After two days the novelt y wore off, and expensive phone found itself banished to the handbag to fester, showing its top-of-the-range self only when someone called me. Poor bugger.

3. In addition, I've also had a contract, owing to the silly little thought that 'well, if I have this contract, I'll use it more!' WRONG! Wha t's the point? Sure, it may come in handy if you want to make prank calls to people in the local phone book with weird surnames just to 'use up your credit' (and no, I've never done this.

But have wanted to, many a time. Especially to Mr A.Wally.) So, Mr Smug Salesman, shut up. Paying for something you don't need is pointless.

4. Oh, and let me tell you Sir, that your sales technique is utter rubbish. You know what?

Cramming each and every 'Sell, Sell, SELL GODDAMNIT!' phrase from training courses into a minute or two makes y ou sound so desperate. Seriously, perk up a bit.

Pretend you're happy and want to make ME happy, you know? It helps.

Of course, I didn't say that to his face, and instead just muttered, 'I'll think about it,' before walking away.

But not before I caught sight of the tremendously annoyed face he was so overtly displaying because he d idn't clinch a deal. Well, what can I say? All I asked him was how much the D&G phone was.

Silly man.

People like this irritate me more than anything. Look, if I WANTED your goods, I'd TELL you.

So, all in all, I wasted approximately four minutes of my time.

Guess that'll teach me for being so nosey!