I GET very cynical when I hear that rebranding something will make everything OK.

Firstly, there was the strange case of the Malaysian owners of Cardiff City and the bizarre plan to make the Bluebirds turn red, which has now, seemingly, bitten the dust.

And secondly, there was the proposal of the government's digital czar Martha Lane-Fox to colour-code logos for every Whitehall department, and give them a "digital-friendly" coat of arms.

A leaked cabinet office document suggests turning the culture department pink, health should be green and the ministry of justice black. Hmm. Sombre.

It's as if we are all primary school children trying to find our colour-coded trays, because our attention span is now so diminished by soundbites and reality TV.

Politics reduced to that Harry Hill "fight" moment where George Osborne shouts "deficit" while Ed Balls shouts "growth". TV reduced to a botoxed presenter simpering the word "journey".

Back to Cardiff City. Apparently, thousands of football fans in Malaysia and the Far East would have forsaken Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United to watch Cardiff if they simply stopped wearing that pesky blue strip and lost that blinking bluebird mascot.

Beggar history, the feelings of staunch fans or any common sense whatsoever, that's just bound to get the club into the Premiership. Isn't it?

Well it would have meant that every single City fan would have to buy a new strip, top, scarf or hat, and who would have benefitted from that injection of cash? You've guessed it.

Now, hurt by heavy criticism and warning of a deepening cash crisis, the Far East contingent are "reviewing their options".

Did the re-branding of the Conservative (splodgy tree) or Plaid Cymru (strange daffodil a la nuclear reactor) logos make them any more successful?

Here's a thought. Forget a change of style and start delivering substance.

Cardiff City would get into the Premiership and get more cash if they won more matches - shock!

The government would be more successful and popular if they actually delivered on the economy.

THE key to mid-life happiness is seeking out new, life-changing experiences while appreciating what we already have, according to a study in the bleeding obvious by the University of Missouri-Columbia.

And here I was thinking that I had paid my dues in the relentlessly perky days of youth in order to be as much of a curmudgeon as I jolly well please. Now THAT'S what would make me happy.

AND finally...

Baywatch star David Hasselhoff has repeatedly proposed to Welsh girlfriend Hayley Roberts at romantic locations including Cape Town in South Africa and Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe, but she has yet to accept. Here's a tip with Welsh women Dave. Do the washing up, butt.