I’m writing this letter wearing a steel helmet and a flak jacket, having suffered a two-pronged attack from the left flank.
The first attack was led by Lt Col Nigel Miliband (Blackwood) and the most recent by Lance Corporal Nigel Balls (Risca) I’m happy to report there was no collateral damage or casualties. My Commander in Chief Nigel Farage from the first Battalion UKIP Brigade has assured us that by standing together and putting our ammunition in the right boxes, we can repel these soul-destroying insurgents who have been wreaking havoc for decades. Only then can we swing right and live in harmony, re-establishing our supply chain and securing our future from multinational aggression. Where do all these Nigels come from?
Storming Norman Jones (not Nigel) Preseli Close Risca